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Messages and Jokes - Read and Share by Phone

Select for Copy Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female. The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack" "No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"	Select for Copy "The difference between the winner and the loser is neither the force nor the knowledge, but, yes, the will of expiring". Vincent T. Lombard
Select for Copy Gary, Paul, and John were driving along in their car when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. John said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." Paul echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Gary sighed, "I wish it was dark... "	Select for Copy Mickey goes to the judge after speaking to him before about getting a divorce with Minney. The judge says "I'm sorry Mickey but I couldn't find grounds for divorce for being insane. Mickey looks stunned and says "I didn't say she was insane I said she was fuc**** Goofy
Select for Copy "When you have a goal, what was an obstacle, become one of the stages of your plan". Gerhard Erich Boehme	Select for Copy "If it cannot stand out for the talent, expire for the effort". Dave Weinbaum
Select for Copy "A certain opposition degree is important for a man." John Neal	Select for Copy "The principal danger in the life is that you can take precautions too much". Alfred Adler
Select for Copy A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay, could I get a beer please" The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"	Select for Copy A mushroom walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay, could I get a beer please" The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here" The mushroom says "Why not I'm a Fungi!"
Select for Copy "Friend is same screw: we only see that is good in the hour of the squeeze".	Select for Copy Did you hear about hte new French tank? Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes foreward incase the enemy attacks from behind.
Select for Copy Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me! Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!	Select for Copy The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked. The doc replied, "I cut two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots."
Select for Copy "More is worth to arrive late in this world than early in the other..."	Select for Copy "The clouds are as bosses... when they disappear, the day is beautiful"!
Select for Copy "It is only worthy of the freedom, as of the life, that that determines to conquer her". Goethe	Select for Copy "The tragedy of the life is that became old I give in too much and wise persons late too much". Benjamin Franklin
Select for Copy "It is beginning one more day, and I am HEALTHY, therefore ready for him".	Select for Copy "To the that played me stones, mine ' a lot of thanks'. It was with them that I built my castle". Fabio Garcia
Select for Copy "My promising future might not have arrived, but it will arrive because I will never give up on being happy".	Select for Copy "I believe in ME to turn MY productive and good day."
Select for Copy "MY day will BE POSITIVE, because I won't leave that the adversities affect his result."	Select for Copy Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs? A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face.
Select for Copy Q: What is the difference between and Virgin and a washing machine? A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!	Select for Copy Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs???...... A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face.
Select for Copy What is the difference between a sin and shame? It's a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.	Select for Copy "Never forget, believe in itself, that it will get, that you have health, that is strong, and not afraid, the rest it is consequence".
Select for Copy What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn	Select for Copy "The badly and the adversity will never prevail in your life".
Select for Copy "Convert the losses they are which go, in learning and forces to persist always ". Ricardo Garay	Select for Copy "Do think 'what importance this is happening what with me will have in one year?'"
Select for Copy "It is education lack to silence an idiot, and cruelty to let him to continue". Benjamin Franklin	Select for Copy "My future is promising, it was not arrived, your hour this close one."
Select for Copy "Never forget that is talented, that will have success, be not afraid makes your best work, the rest it is consequence".	Select for Copy "With health everything can be concert, remedied or gotten better, just the death not". Ricardo Garay
Select for Copy "Think about what you can do for your country and not the one that your country can do for you". John F. Kennedy	Select for Copy "They are not the others that give us opportunity, we are that have to look for her ".
Select for Copy "Tomorrow it will be a new good morning, because the tomorrow is always a new beginning". Ricardo Garay	Select for Copy "If you vibrate only with positive thoughts, your actions consequently will be also positive".

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